The Early Years Pt 4

After being picked up and the mother notified, he was taken to a temporary group home operated by Social Services until his social worker had prepared recommendations for Juvenile Court Judge Don Abrams (Judge Abrams was truly a Judge before the times in his belief that kids were not simply meant to be locked up until they became adults but rather every opportunity possible for their success in life considered). He had just been assigned a new social worker by the name of Del Olivas who he found himself not only respecting but trusting his opinion. Because the kid had not been involved in any criminal acts that brought him before the court Judge Abrams was opposed to placing the kid in any state juvenile facilities which were primarily for minors who had been found guilty of some criminal charge. Given this was 1976 left Abrams with few options at least within the state. He was placed back at the Children’s Treatment Center of the Colorado State Hospital for evaluation while the court instructed Social Services to investigate a more appropriate placement for him.

After being returned to the CTC the kid was put on a regular schedule where he met with the cottage psychologists after the court approved request for a ninety-day placement with the hospital. Between times where the kid would lose his temper and be restrained to a bed by hospital and sedated with Thorazine and his meetings with the cottage psychologists he had become attracted to another kid from Cottage A who just happened to end up being Phillip Vigil, none other than the brother of Jerry Vigil whom he had been attracted to his first stint at the CTC. A 14-year-old kid who had lived his entire young life openly and unashamedly gay at a time being gay was classified as a mental illness and in many states a crime no less. Because this kid was strong willed and blunt along with making his feeling for Phillip known in letters to him, the cottage staff had decided to take him out of his shared room and instead assign him to a single room in the part of the cottage which was used to house kids who had been determined to be in need of secured confinement due to self-harm attempts, or anger issues which resulted in risk to the kid, other kids, staff etc. where they are four point restrained to beds and sedated, which served all four cottages of the center. Each night he would be taken into the area where his room was to sleep, and each morning would be brought back across the nurse’s station into the open side of the cottage.

One morning he knew something was wrong. He had been left in his room until noon this day when normally he was brought out by eight in the morning. When he was finally brought out staff took him into a conference room in the cottage where he was met by his assigned lead Psych Tech, his assigned social worker, the Director of the Children’s Treatment Center, hospital’s chief of staff and others. Thinking they were about to tell him something had happened to his mother who no matter how hard his mom & others had tried to hide the fact she suffered from multiple cancers from him he knew, but he never saw what really was coming.

The cottage psychologist this kid was meeting with as part of his assigned plan, was gay. No, he never came of to this kid and no he never made any attempts to approach this kid sexually in any way. Truth is not sure if he ever realized this 14-year-old kid was aware of his being gay. The lead psych tech started the questions. She asked if I could tell them what the psychologists and kid had discussed during their last session. Wanted to know what this kid had told the psychologist throughout the entire time the kid had been seeing him. Suddenly others in the room began asking the kid if he had ever made personal attacks toward the psychologists, threats or statements that would disrespect, belittle, demean, hurt or upset him. Now feeling as if he was being attacked and accused of something without being told what the kid becomes defensive and firm. Standing up, all four feet 11 inches of him one hundred pounds soaking wet the kid stops them all and demands “What the hell is this about?” Why are you guys asking these questions, “did the psychologists accuse me of doing something and if so what?”

To be clear the kid never expected the response which came from his questions. Turns out the cottage psychologists this kid had been forced to meet with regularly overnight had killed himself. He had shot himself in the head in his home and now the staff at the hospital were trying to blame a 14-year-old kid for a grown man deciding to shoot himself in the head. Upon being told the kid broke down crying, not because he was being accused of being responsible like those in the room thought, but because that is who and the type of person the kid had been his whole life. Sadden to hear a man who he had gotten to know, who he had been completely open with about everything he felt, thought, believed reached a point where he himself felt he had no one he could talk to that his only option was to put a bullet in his head. After the kid continuing to be pressed and pushed by the people who wanted to blame him for a member of their staff killing himself, the kid became angry, that anger allowed these people to have hospital security handcuff him, escort him back to his room and assist staff in placing him in four point restraints on his bed and sedated with Thorazine which was their response to everything when challenged.

As time moved on and the kid became increasingly attracted to Phillip, looking for every opportunity he could find to spend time with him, talking, getting to know him better, the staff decided that was unacceptable. The kid was not trying to get laid by Phillip, he had his whole life found certain people attractive and interesting to him that made him want to get to know them, talk with them, joke with them and establish sincere honest friendships with them. He never could understand why his being open about his being gay and attractive to other males, or his belief that being honest from the start with people was seen as wrong, unacceptable, or inappropriate. To this day that same kid when asked “why do you always introduce yourself to people the first time as “jotoloco or crazy faggot/” and he gives the same answer every time: “because if people know you for who and what you are from the beginning and you develop friendship then you never worry that a friendship is ruined by someone claiming you gamed them if you hide who you are and then they find out later.”

Social Services continues their search for a suitable placement where this kid can be given the opportunity to live as normal a life as possible but as it was discovered years later the biggest issue, they were having turned out to be the fact this kid was openly gay. Del Olivas turned out to be a young man just starting his career in social work who would not only make a lasting impression on this kid, but who showed this kid no matter what others think it is important to always be honest about what you think, who you are and what you are. During this time the hospital staff continued to push the belief this kid was at fault for the psychologists committing suicide which only resulted in causing the kid to become angry with it each time ending with him being restrained over and over. The hospital had decided to expand the Children’s Treatment Center by adding a fifth cottage which was specifically designed for older adolescents believed to be better suited in a closed more secure environment. Called the Closed Adolescent Unit, it was opened in one of the old vacant red brick two story buildings once used for inpatient treatment of adults where two buildings were connected by open breezeways connected. The kid turned 15 just a month before this unit opened and was one of the first three kids who moved from the cottages into the unit in the fall of 1976.

The law required the hospital to notify the kid as well as the court if they intended to seek or recommend that a patient be kept beyond the ninety-day period granted by the court. Upon being moved into the newly closed adolescent unit the kid who recently turned fifteen years old was notified the hospital was seeking court order to continue the kids involuntary commitment period. By this time the kid had become what he felt was nothing more than a lab rat and reason for additional funding sought at the time in an experiment the hospital had decided to delve into. Having been put on medication from the age of four with Ritalin first having the exact reverse effect on him than intended resulting in it being changed to Mellaril with his 1975 emergency commitment to the Children’s Treatment Center resulting in his being placed on Thorazine ending up with his placement in a new unit with a medical staff deciding to turn him into a walking zombie by placing him on Haldol a medication which is powerful, used to treat schizophrenia which has serious side effects and causes irreversible physical disorders. Upon placement in the CAU this kid was placed on 5mg of Haldol three times a day and immediately suffered side effects of his muscles in his neck literally pulling his head backwards, swelling of his throat and tongue which trained medical staff witnessed but dismissed as being faked until the kid literally lost consciousness.

A kid was turned into a walking zombie as a treatment to control his being openly gay and expressing himself openly and honestly. When he was notified of the hospital’s intent to seek court order extending his commitment he objected and exercised his right to a trial by jury on the matter. On December 23, 1976 a kid turned into a zombie with medication that no child should ever be subjected to appeared before a jury who ruled in favor of the hospitals request and claim the kid required further treatment but could not define what that treatment had been or would, should be.

The new year 1977 came in with this kid trying to find a way to regain control of himself, his thoughts, and his state of mind over a drug forced upon him without a single medical justification for it. It would also be a year of some emotional times as well as finally escaping the holds of a hospital still blaming him for the death of one of their employees. January 29, 1977, would cause an emotional break for this 15-year-old kid that would take more than a month for him to slowly come out of. He, like most every kid in this time, had had crushes, fantasies etc. Teen Beat and other magazines were popular, and girls had crushes on all the young guys featured and boys had the same on the girls featured. Chico and the Man a sitcom with Jack Albertson and Freddie Prinze was this kids favorite. He thought Freddie Prize was the worlds most handsome hottest man alive. He had this belief that Prinze was more than what the eye could see and wrote fan letters to regularly. On this particular day for the second time in less than a year, a kid was grappling with another suicide. Prinze killed himself in the same manner as this kids’ psychologists did only 7 months earlier. Only this one affected him harder as he found himself crying for weeks, saddened unbelievably over the death of a person he had never met, spoken to or really known anything about.

It had always been a habit for this kid to make and send birthday cards to members of his family from parents, grandparents, siblings aunts etc. He always did so early to be sure they were never delivered late. His father’s birthday was Feb 27 and his card already send the kid started on his Grandfathers card and letter. His grandfather’s birthday was March 27 and with his brother getting married on March 26 the day before he wanted to be sure it arrived by that date. It arrived earlier with his grandfather’s last words to him being a letter sent to say he got his card. The hospital had already agreed the kid would attend his brothers wedding and turns out had been informed his grandfather had died the day before the wedding. Just as had been the practice of not letting the kid know about his mother’s health issues the hospital had directed the kids’ mother and family to NOT mention anything about the death of his grandfather to him. Instead, the hospital had directed the kids mother if she felt it was necessary to inform the kid as to his grandfathers death to wait and do so after returning him to the hospital after the wedding. Which is exactly what happened. Being played as if he was somehow too fragile to be told the truth or informed about his loved ones this kid was angry over being kept in the dark over his losing his grandfather. After his mother had left the kid went to his room which was shared with three other guys, one being Steve Hicks. Steve was the kid every girl was trying to get to pay attention to them, you know the bad kid, the rebel that all the good girls found attractive in the movies. While Steve was cute for some reason this kid never really did have an attraction to him.

This night and dealing with the sadness and anger over being kept in the dark about the death of his grandfather, while sobbing face buried in his pillow suddenly, he feels hands on his back and in his hair. As he turns over on his back, he finds Steve positioning himself beside him on his bed wrapping his arms around him, hugging him and begins kissing him. As soon as this begins a unit staff member walk in and this kid is without any reason immediately taken to a seclusion room where he becomes upset over what’s taking place. He became upset was met with hospital security being called and the kid placed in four point restraints and sedated with a shot of Haldol.

Finally, as the kid sees the extended commitment term coming to an end his social worker Del Olivas visits to let him know he would oppose any request by the hospital for another extension. Turns out Del had been getting regular updates on what was taking place at the hospital from his sister who had ended up doing her Psych Tech training on the same unit the kid was in. It was her curiosity over a kid being in a facility supposedly for treatment that who unlike every other kid had no active treatment plan or who was included in any of the unit’s group or individual counseling groups, academic classes, or any other treatment programs. Her curiosity also led to her discovering her brother was this kids social services social worker.

The time had come for this kid to finally be freed from his days as a walking zombie and have the freedom to feel, think and express himself as he always had. Del had arranged for a group home known as Sacred Heart Home in Pueblo, Colorado to take the kid in. A decision which would later turn out to be regretted by Sacred Hearts director and one of her counselors who served at her command but also served to save a good number of kids from further abuse and being taken advantage of by them.

Sacred Heart began as an orphanage started by the catholic church of the same name located on the same property. Located 2315 Sprague with the east side where kids resided butting up next to Mountain View Cemetery. Today most of the property has been developed into housing with the old red brick building appearing to have been converted into commercial & residential units.

Once the kid arrived at Sacred Heart, he was put in the residential areas located on the east end of the building which extended back to the north. Kids of all ages running crazy in a group placement who’s number one priority was how much money they could secure and skim for themselves. At the time the counselor overseeing the supervision of the kids was Al Grule, a young Chicano activist determined to gain power, money and control while using at risk kids to build his bio. Al was like the twin to the Sacred Hearts director. Her right-hand A guy who thought feeding kids maggot infested meats was ok, who established an environment where kids were supervised by older bigger kids selected by Al to use intimidation, physical assault, bullying to maintain sense of order. Al just never expected a kid who didn’t bow to intimidation, threats, or who never backed down from a fight in his life to become one of the homes residents. Al also never imagined an openly gay kid would ever become a resident much less one who would not only be attracted to the older kids he had used to control the residents who would in turn find that attraction flattering enough to act on it sexually.

Almost immediately after arriving at Sacred Heart this kid had not only managed to run and end round to the way the director and Al had been playing kids, but he also gained the attention and more from the older guys who almost every girl at Sacred Heart had been vying for. In the process he managed to make the older guys see and understand how they had been used to help Al and the director make money off every single one of the kids being fed spoiled meat, being told they were nobody’s, being housed in conditions most dogs weren’t kept in which caused problems for the director and Al. In turn it created a situation where Sacred Heart needed to regain control in the immediate but also had to make sure this kid was not put in a situation where he could cause yet more serious problems for them. Sacred Heart, in addition to the main campus operated a residential home at 1025 E. Evans for older kids on their way to aging out into adulthood. It was more of an independent living setup with little to no supervision or structure. It was decided that this kid would be moved from the Sacred Heart Home to its residential independent living house as the solution. Given this kids independent streak it was perfect for him.

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